Eddie Cantor - Keep Young and Beautiful
1930s lolwut.
“I was that wet I could hear the noise my fingers was makin’ even with that wind hollerin’. I mean, ‘course I’d fooled around down there afore, but it weren’t never like this.. I had this kinda flutterin’ low in my belly like I swallowed a bird that was after gettin’ out.
Somewhere in the house dishes was breakin’, an’ my dog was barkin’, but I just kept right on.
Boy, I was so excited. The feelin’ ‘tween my legs was gettin’ faster an’ faster an’ louder, spinnin’ tight like a hot twister. I’d got a tornado inside o’ me, and outside too, like I was just skin stretched out tight in ‘tween the both o’ them. I could feel somethin’ was gonna happen in me, gettin’ nearer an’ bigger all the time, but I didn’t know what it was.
I guess…..I dunno…
I guess I thought it was death.”
this is the absolute closest to being an accurate depiction of my internetting face
